Reflections

Today I sit in amazement at what the past year has brought my family. A year ago today, we were preparing for Kaden's arrival. Scared and unsure of what his future held. We knew his battle would be hard and there was nothing we could do but pray and allow him to fight it. And he fought so well, he's a strong boy! God's grace and mercy were bountiful for us during that time. God allowed Kaden to be healed through the hands of a surgeon. Here we are a year later and I wouldn't change what we've all been through. Kaden's birth, surgery, and recovery were nothing short of a miracle. God has blessed so many people with our son. We have been able to reach out to other families to help them on their journey through diagnosis, surgery, recovery, and beyond. I can't begin to put into words how blessed we are to have been given such a special little boy. Our family is closer than it has even been before. I appreciate how blessed I am to have two heathy children. I took them for granted for such a long time, and now I try to cherish every moment I have with them. Even when driving to the soccer field seems like such a chore, I remember that Avery could have been born and never been able to play soccer, or that Kaeleigh may have never cheered. God chose a different path for Kaeleigh and Avery's lives and I'm so thankful that they don't have to face the battles Kaden has. Kaeleigh is growing into such a beautiful young lady. This past year brought many tears for her as she fully understood what was happening with her little brother and what he was facing. I remember her begging to hold him in the NICU and the nurses telling her no, that she might pull a line loose. We shut the curtain and allowed her to hold him anyway, knowing that could have been her only chance to hold her baby brother. We had to let Avery hold him too. I couldn't bear to think he could leave this earth and not have been held by them. The bond that the three of them formed during those first few weeks was incredible. It didn't matter to Kaeleigh and Avery that he was in NICU, he was THEIR baby brother and the love they had for him was overwhelming. Avery cried when we left the hospital. He wanted to bring Kaden home to snuggle in the bed like we had done during my pregnancy.

The morning of his surgery, Tim, KK, and Ave met me at the hospital to pray and wait. We all carried him down to the pre-op check in and waited for them to come and get him. I can't describe how difficult it was for all of us to hand over our tiny baby to people we had never met and trust them to care for him. Those feelings had to be pushed back because without the surgery, he wouldn't have made it to see his first birthday.

Over the course of this past year, God has brought so many families and stories into our lives. Each family and child has touched the deepest parts of my heart. It's my prayer that God allows me to continue in His ministry to these families. I pray that each child's story touches me and helps me remember what we have been through and that no matter what God has NEVER failed us. He held Kaden in His hands and allowed Kaden to be healed. He held us during a terrible time when nothing on this earth could, and He never let go.

Happy Birthday April 27 to our miracle of life, Kaden John. May God bless your life my precious baby. May you always walk in His path, with His light guiding you. I pray for your protection and for your future. May God always hold all the days of your life and may they be long and fruitful for Him. Always remember where you have been and how blessed you are. Mommy loves you for always my little heart boy.