Thursday, February 19, 2009

Opinions on Slavery

It's not at all what you think, I just have to share the conversation Avery and I had last night regarding the subject. Let me set the tone:

Our living room where earlier we had been working on his paragraph about which President he would like to be and why. He chose President Lincoln.

Me: Avery, hand me the remote, please.

Avery: Uhhhhhh, I don't want to.

Me: I didn't ask you if you wanted to, I just asked you to hand it to me. (mind you, I'm actually closer to the remote than he is)

Avery: I'm not your slave.

Me: No, Avery, you're not, but (voice rising) I said hand me the remote! Now hand it to me.

Avery: **pondering** I don't have to because Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves so that means I don't have to be yours.

Me: ...........

Need I say more?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Week 30

This week would have marked the "countdown." The final 10 weeks, the homestretch to welcome our little Leilani. I know she's playing with her brothers and sister in a place beyond dreams and that bring me great comfort!

I'm determined to do several things Here's my list: (By the way, I share this more to hold myself accountable to who else? ME!)

1. Make a list of concerns for my dr appointment on the 25th

2. Upload our family photos to Snapfish (currently working on)

3. Pray about some things going on with Palmetto Hearts.

4. Do my best to not eat boxes of Swiss cake rolls!!

Not anything super fantastic, just some stuff I gotta get done!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Some tears and a doctor visit

****Update**** The test was negative, so they drew some blood to check my hormone levels. The nurse is supposed to call me back as soon as they get the results. Of course, I already know what the results are, but perhaps it will get their attention and have my concerns addressed.

Well, more than just some. My heart is hurting so badly. I'm headed out to my OB/GYN to hopefully get some answers as to what is happening, why I have lost these precious babies. There are more than just two, there are five. Five little lives gone before they had a chance. Five little faces I'll never kiss, five little voices I'll never hear. Five is too many. I want answers, I NEED answers. Please be in prayer that I will not get the "well the pregnancy just didn't develop" or the horrid "this is nature's way of 'housekeeping' you know like survival of the fittest." Yes, I actually had a doctor say the latter to me. Pray that God's hand will be on the doctor I see today and the nurses I talk to. Let His heart be theirs today. I so desperately want to know why....

And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.
Mark 10:16

Monday, February 9, 2009

Ebb and flow

Last Tuesday I was overjoyed to learn a new life was beginning inside me. I was certain that this pregnancy was going to grow and thrive. I nearly bought diapers, my heart was so sure! Last night, we found out that it was not meant to, that again we had lost a precious life. My heart aches and aches for the losses in the last four months.

In my grief, I am trying to be a better mommy to the three children God has allowed me to keep. I got up today and hugged and kissed all of them and held them tight. I told them how much I love them and how special each of them is. Kaeleigh, my independent princess, Avery, my tender hearted snuggle bear, and Kaden, my fiesty survivor!

I am blessed to have my family and friends to share my heart with. Those whose words comfort me and whose prayers lift me up.

Goodnight sweet baby, until I meet you in Heaven....

All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. 1 Thessalonians 1:5-7

Friday, February 6, 2009

47 53

Intersting number combination, huh? Lotto numbers, perhaps someones ages? Nope, those are the numbers from Kaden's test! Perfect lung function, which who has that, is 50 50, so our Father, once again, has showed His grace and mercy and Kaden's blood flow to his lungs is a close to perfect as you can get! Dr. Malpass said, "Once again, Kaden has astonished us." He expected the results to be more 60 40.

Thank you Lord for Kaden's continued health, for Your outpouring of blessings on our lives. Thank you Lord for special friends to share life's trials and joys with! Father, bless my friends Rebecca and Dee, you know their needs. Give them your peace when they need it. I praise you for my family and home and my friends. Amen!

Psalms 20:1-8
1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Test

Everything went smoothly, as we prayed for. Kaden only whimpered a little when they had to stick him twice to get his IV going. He's so strong and courageous to be so little. The nurses were very kind, one of them was a heart mommy too! Dr. Avant was wonderful and took the time to make sure we understood what was happening and what to expect from Kaden. He came out of his little slumber and boy were we in for it. He is extremely cranky and clingy, but who can blame him. So my radioactive heart baby does not do well recovering from sedation. Lesson learned! He's currently sitting on the recliner watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and shouting his demands to us.

Thank you Lord for giving us the ability to face today and know You're in control! I will update as soon as we have the results! Thank you all for your prayers, I would have been a total wreck without them!!

“[For the director of music. Of David the servant of the LORD. He sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:] I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”- Psalm 18:1-2

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Ok, I'm nervously blogging at 10pm. Not really unusual for me, but not the best idea when we have to be up and out of the house by 7:15. I can't bring myself to sleep when my little guy is laying here next to me, blissfully unaware of what tomorrow may bring. Kaden will be sedated around 9am or so tomorrow and have xrays taken of his lungs and branch arteries to make sure his lungs are receiving correct amounts of oxygen. I am confident that God will continue to provide for us no matter what the outcome. Pray for all to go well with sedation and that he has no complications with it. Also pray that I will be able to handle to outcome if it means going back to Charleston. I also have an unspoken request that affects me most of all and my family, Tim, Kaeleigh, Avery, and Kaden as well. Pray for health for all of us.

Were those enough requests for you???

Here are a couple of pictures from the kids celebrating Annabelle's First birthday. She celebrated in the best place of all, heaven!!

But I will sing of your strength,in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. Psalms 59:16